Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
