i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
