the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize