soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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