Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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