And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
