maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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