The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
