Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Still dying that you shit outside
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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