I'm lost and stupid without you.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize