There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize