I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
