yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
