The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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