Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
