just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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