As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
