Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize