I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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