That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
