remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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