God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
