she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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