Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
