Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
