Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
as a side note pls kill me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
