Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
