You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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