Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
