So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
