i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
