did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
