Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
