you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
