there's paper in my vomit.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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