Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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