saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
