He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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