feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize