Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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