I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
