i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize