laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
