Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
