Are we in a gay sports bar?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
