White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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