your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
