I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize