I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
