I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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