It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
