They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
