I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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