There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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