can we get nightvision for the apartment?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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