Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
