I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
