sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
