i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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