Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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