Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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