We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
