i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
the liver wants what the liver wants
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
