I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We left the knife in your bed.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
