i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
