This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
