i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I won't apologize to a one balled man
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
