Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
