is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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