i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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