I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
