Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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