Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
