i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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