I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
