whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
