doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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